Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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(734): View more from Michigan

I wish I had a frozen water bed.

(253): View more from Washington

best. idea. ever.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ

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(319): View more from Iowa

Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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(949): View more from California

i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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(513): View more from Ohio

This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday

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