i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
