like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
