it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
