If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
