This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
