i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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