If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize