The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I deserve this hangover.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
