i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
how can u be prego again
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
