Are we in a gay sports bar?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
