Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
