i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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