i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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