Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
