More tranny stories later!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
