if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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