It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize