dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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