4 words: hood of his car
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
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