And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
