i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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