Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
