what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
