Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize