I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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