you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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