how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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