dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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