he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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