Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
