I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
