i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
