Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
