Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
