literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
