even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
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This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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