it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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