I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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