He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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