She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
