last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i now understand why vodka
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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