like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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