I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm both gender and math confused
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
