he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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