A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
