Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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