Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
