Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
