I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
