i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
