I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
