i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
