Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
