Girls should come with a carfax report
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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